Here is the original video.
I’m actually a big fan of JP and his hilarious videos. However, I’ve seen this particular video posted a lot as some kind of an excuse for an argument against veganism. People post it on vegan blogs and forums claiming, “This video shows why vegans are stupid,” or something along those lines. So I decided to make an official rebuttal of the satirical points in the video (even though JP only made it as a joke, and some of the lines in the video even seemed to be praising a vegan diet, as you will see).
So keep in mind, the dialogue in the video is set up to portray meat eaters talking in the same way most people think stereotypical vegans talk.
- “That salad’s totally grossing me out. I’ve completely lost my appetite.”
Vegan equivalent: “That meat is totally grossing me out. I’ve completely lost my appetite."
This implies that it’s common for vegans to express disgust when people are eating meat/animal products around them. While some anti-social vegans out there might say this once in awhile, this is nothing like what majority of vegans are like in real life. Since eating meat is the norm for most people in the Western world, we wouldn’t be able to leave the house without feeling the need to chastise someone about their food choices. I don’t know a single vegan who chooses to behave that way, including myself and all my vegan friends. If anything, during a meal, I’m just focusing on the yummy vegan food I get to eat, not whatever someone else might be eating.
- “I’m going to the meat-stock flesh festival. You going?”
(RAW) Vegan equivalent: I’m going to the Woodstock Fruit Festival. You going?”
This is playing off of the well-known Woodstock fruit festival. But that is specifically for RAW vegans, not just regular vegans.
- “Yeah I want the tofu spring rolls. Except I don’t eat tofu, so do you have like a tofu-flavored chicken you can substitute in for me?”
Vegan equivalent: “Yeah I want the chicken spring rolls. Except I don’t eat chicken, so do you have like a chicken-flavored meat replacement you can substitute in for me?”
Apparently some people get annoyed when vegans ask for meat substitutes when they’re out at restaurants. I’m not really sure why, because a LOT more restaurants are offering veggie burgers and other vegan alternatives these days, so it does pay to ask. If this statement was aimed more at the idea of vegans eating things that taste like meat, though, I address that in point #5.
- “It’s not that vegetable-eaters are bad people, it’s just that they’re terrible people.”
Vegan equivalent: “It’s not that meat-eaters are bad people, it’s just that they’re terrible people.”
The majority of vegans don’t actually view meat eaters as terrible people. Ever heard of the phrase “Love the person, hate the act?” Because that completely applies here. Vegans don’t like that people choose to contribute to animal cruelty by purchasing/consuming animal products, but that doesn’t mean we hate the person. If that were true, I wouldn’t associate with my own family members, my best friends, or even my husband! They all eat meat, but of course I still love them and don’t judge them for it. I live my life and still choose to set a silent example either way.
- “This sausage is a meat-based substitute for cucumber. It’s got the taste and the texture of an actual cucumber, with none of the cucumber.”
Vegan equivalent: “This product is a plant-based substitute for sausage. It’s got the taste and texture of an actual sausage, but with none of the meat.”
Some people are weirded out that vegans sometimes like to eat fake chicken, fake cheese, or other vegan substitutes. Not all vegans actually eat these things. In fact, it’s healthier if you don’t. Those foods are usually full of sodium, high in fat, and are highly processed. But I myself like to indulge in some vegan burgers once in awhile, or some vegan cheese. They’ve actually come a long way in their taste and texture these days and many are really delicious!
Some people ask, “If you’re against eating animals, why do you eat things that taste like animals?” The simple answer to that is because most of us grew up eating animal foods, just like the majority of people in the modern Western world. Not to mention, meat by itself isn’t really that appetizing. The salt, oils, and spices it’s seasoned with are what define the flavor. You can create those same familiar flavors with plant-foods, so why not? :)
- “Eating plants makes your body WAY too alkaline, which will definitely kill you. Do you really want that?”
Vegan equivalent: “Eating meat makes your body WAY too acidic, which will definitely kill you. Do you really want that?”
That actually sounds like JP is applauding vegans for eating healthier foods, LOL. Having an alkaline diet can be very beneficial to our health. However, animal products like meat, dairy, and eggs, actually are very acidic, which can contribute to a lot of health problems including acidosis, bleeding gums, headaches, and brittle hair/nails, among other problems.
- “All you need is some meat to be healthy and thrive. You get everything you need from meat. Beef is loaded with carbs.”
Vegan equivalent: All you need are some vegetables to be healthy and thrive. You get everything you need from vegetables. Broccoli is loaded with protein.”
A common misconception about vegans is that they only eat vegetables and tofu. This could NOT be further from the truth. We eat a huge variety of things made from grains, legumes, fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, herbs, and spices. And yes, it is possible to get all the nutrients you need from plants, except for vitamin D3 from the sun or a supplement, and vitamin b12 from a supplement or fortified cereals, plant milks, etc..
However, gram for gram, broccoli really does have even more protein than beef.
- “Orcas are even more spiritually evolved than humans and they only eat seal meat. So that means humans should only eat meat, because it’s the most spiritually evolved diet. Because of orcas.”
Vegan equivalent: "Gorillas are way stronger than humans and they only eat plants. So that means humans should only eat plants, because it’s the most evolved diet. Because of gorillas.”
I completely agree that the appeal-to-nature fallacy does not make an adequate argument for any movement, let alone veganism. However, I hear way more meat eaters try to use this argument than vegans. Usually, a vegan will use the gorilla example as a way to show that plants have protein too, and if something as muscular as a plant-eating gorilla can exist in nature, we can be sure plants provide us with protein. However, a meat eater may often try to defend meat-eating by saying, “Lions and tigers eat meat, so that means it’s ok for us to eat meat too.” Are you a lion or tiger? Are you built anything like them? They like to kill each other sometimes too, not to mention they lick their own behinds. So by that logic, those things are completely natural and normal for humans to do too, right? Wrong, of course. Just because something is considered “natural” or is common among other species, doesn’t mean it is necessarily right or good for humans.
- “Plants give off oxygen, why would you eat them?”
Vegan equivalent: “Livestock animals give off methane gas, why would you eat them?”
This is actually another valid point. If less people ate animal products, we would have far less methane gas emissions, making a healthier and safer planet as a result. For more info on this, watch Cowspiracy on Netflix. Great info.
And then we get into some arguments I’ve actually heard meat eaters make.
- “Do you even know how dangerous deer are when you’re driving your car? If you don’t kill and eat deer first, you basically want people to get into car accidents.”
For some info on humane ways to keep wildlife out of urban areas, check out this page on the Humane Society website: http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/wild_neighbors/register_community_leaders_wildlife_guide.html?credit=web_id85550799
- “The world’s a much safer place if we eat the animals that could eat us.”
Right, because I’m sure those blood-thirsty cows, chickens, deer, and other herbivores would completely devour us if they had the chance. ;)
- “Broccoli? That’s what my food eats. That’s my food’s food, and I don’t appreciate you eating that.”
Well, your food poops, so no thank you, LOL. Obviously both of these aren’t much of an argument because they are just jokes and not actual points.
- “You should eat Siberian tigers to help them go extinct. It makes it so that they can live on through you and your children for generations to come. The best chance for the survival of their species is for us to kill and eat them.”
That was obviously a joke, but I’ve actually seen a lot of people online supporting the idea that by spending a whole bunch of money to shoot an endangered animal, they money they spend helps “save” endangered species. So they think it’s okay to kill one member of endangered species in order to save others of that species. I have a better idea. To save endangered species, how about just donating all that money to those organizations WITHOUT killing any animals. That would help conserve them a lot more!
And then we get back into the reversed vegan arguments:
- “That coconut was going to grow into a palm tree. Why would you eat that?”
Vegan equivalent: “That lamb was going to grow into a sheep. Why would you eat that?”
I’ve actually never understood why people choose to eat baby animals. I was even against that back when I ate meat. But what a lot of people don’t know is that animals on factory farms never even get to live the full lifespan they’re capable of living. For all intents and purposes, all factory farmed animals are still extremely young.
- “I could never eat plants that are raised in crowded farms and inhumane living conditions, with less than one square inch of space per stalk, stuck in the soil against their will.”
Vegan equivalent: “I could never eat animals that are raised in crowded farms and inhumane living conditions, with less than one square foot per slot (for chickens), stuck in cages against their will.”
This is actually a valid argument. Chickens, pigs, cows, and other livestock are often crammed into spaces where they can’t even stand up or turn around. Imagine living like that. There is no argument that such a thing is cruel and unnecessary. In fact, even what we know to be “free range” isn’t that free after all.
- “Have you ever thought of going meat-eater to help save the planet? Or do you just not care about the earth?”
Vegan equivalent: “Have you ever thought about going vegan to help save the planet? Or do you just not care about the earth?”
Everyone cares about the planet to some degree. And going vegan can actually help the planet in a HUGE way! It can help reduce your carbon footprint.
And can also help save a LOT of animals.
- “Have you seen the Kale-spiracy documentary? You’ve gotta see it. It’s so heartbreaking seeing how all the plants are killed and the deforestation from the plant farming and unsustainable farming practices. Kale farming is the number one destroyer of the environment. Once you see it, you'll never eat plants again.”
Vegan equivalent: “Have you seen the Cowspiracy documentary? You’ve gotta see it. It’s so heartbreaking seeing how all the animals are killed and the deforestation from the factory farming and unsustainable farming practices. Cattle farming is the number one destroyer of the environment. Once you see it, you’ll never eat meat again.”
JP is right on this one. The Cowspiracy documentary really is very eye-opening. In fact, I’m surprised that there are so many people who shout about climate change, but they ignore the info in this film. It really could change everything for the better if more people made the switch.
He then throws in some comments from other characters in the sketch.
- “As he redundantly repeated his emotionally-charged nutritional opinions at me, I was instantly convinced to become a meat-eater.”
Yeah, no one ever gets convinced by someone trying to force their views. When people ask me about veganism, though, I do make it a top priority to have actual nutritional studies as references, though, so my argument is not just an “emotionally charged opinion.”
- “JP was the most illogical condescending person I’ve ever met.”
I’ve met a lot of meat eaters like that too. Jerks can show up anywhere anytime.
- “Saying something like that is just a symptom of being overly alkaline. It just makes you mean and you can’t think straight.”
Vegan equivalent: “Saying something like that is just a symptom of being overly acidic. It just makes you mean and you can’t think straight.”
Well, one common symptom of a high acid diet is mood swings. ;) But in all seriousness, of course there will be a couple vegans here and there who are rude like this, but there is bound to be a rude member of ANY group or movement out there. That includes any religion, social group, political group, etc. I don’t believe that trying to force your opinions on anyone is right, but I also notice that sometimes people ask me about veganism, or even challenge me on it, and then get angry at me for answering truthfully. But I never go out of my way to preach veganism to anyone unless they ask, and all of my vegan friends seem to do the same.
I did actually think this was a funny video, because there are a few vegans, especially on YouTube, who have taken things too far a few times. But it saddened me that most people who watched JP’s video took it as how vegans actually act, and then shared it all over social media, labeling it as such. I can tell you honestly, most vegans are nothing like this. However, even if there are those few vegans who make the movement look bad, we must remember that the truth is the truth no matter how it is portrayed or how “rude” a believer in that truth might be. One funny thing I did notice, though, was that for a while, JP had some clickable links in the video for faux meat that people could purchase if they were interested. So I wouldn’t say he was completely against the movement after all. ;)